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The Most Hilarious Christmas Letters to Santa from Kids Ever

Michaela Fromme

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Halloween is over so let’s be real, it’s basically Christmas already: a wonderful time when pockets of money get emptier and when houses get fuller of presents, love, and the holiday spirit…but mostly presents. And with Black Friday just around the corner, it’d be wise to start making those lists to Santa now, so that he can start his holiday shopping early and stress-free, while also swiping up those glorious store deals. Here are 22 lists to Santa from children to give you some inspo for your own Christmas lists:

 

1. Short and concise makes for the perfect Christmas letter. Take notes from Jacob:

 

2.

Translation: Dear Santa, My name is Mia, and I am trying my best to be good but I can’t because it is too hard. Can you give me advice?

 

3. It’s number four on this child’s list that really concerns me:

Translation: Dear Santa, How are you? Well, enough chitchat. Let’s get down to business: this year I want…

1. A space lego set

2. Some jellybeans

3. A Shark’s hat and jacket

4. An AK-47  assault rifle

5. Any Nintendo game

 

4. Don’t be afraid to dream big while writing your letters this year. I mean, this kid is already thinking four holidays ahead:

Translation: Dear Santa, I wanted to tell you that I am fine. I don’t know but if you can, could you possible make it so I can turn into a dragon? Please!!! Or a pet dragon? Either one will do, although I would like it if you can make me turn into a dragon. P.S. have a happy Valentine’s Day.

 

5. Remember, honestly is always the key when writing the perfect letter to Santa:

©

Translation: Dear Santa, I flushed my brother’s head down the toilet, but can I have a puppy?

Source: @chemteacher1987/Instagram

 

6. Santa has a lot of letters to read this December so do him a favor and keep it upbeat and interesting, just like this kid:

Translation: Dear Santa, Sup? Does your workshop small like updog? What is updog, you ask? Well, nothing much. How about you? Z-Z-Zing! Oh, snap! Well, now that the mood has been lightened up, let’s get down to business: this year, my heart would tingle if you brought me some Pop-Tarts and a Bob Marley Mellow Mood drink. Also, I would enjoy a Hot Topic gift card.

 

7. And you don’t want to sound greedy, so I recommend keeping your list of gifts short.

Translation: Dear Santa, How are you? I’m good. Here is what I want for Christmas: (if you think I’m writing all of that down, think again, sweaty).

 

8. It’s okay to be a little lazy sometimes.

Translation:  Dear Santa, Please text my dad. He has my whole list. I love you. XOXOXOX, Tennessee.

 

9. Oh, me too, Rebecca.

 

10.

Translation: Dear Santa, you better bring me my pony this year, or there will be consequences. *mad pony drawing*

 

11. Curiosity put the cat on the naughty list, Cullen.

Translation: Dear Santa, You are a very nice man. What are you getting for my sisters? How was your year? Was my friend Carter on the nice list? Did you stick the gifts in the basement because there was no room in the sleigh? Your friend, Cullen P.S. How tall is the average elf? And is Rudolph real?

 

12. Now THIS is a Christmas list:

Translation: 1) Ravioli. 2) Good grades. 3) A girlfriend. 4) Some friends. 5) People named Jeff. 6) Cheese. 7) For Dequan to love me. 8) To becom hood rich. 9) A later bedtime.

 

13. I don’t think you fully understood the assignment, honey.

Translation: Dear Santa…ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ.

 

14. Accepting your fate is a huge part of writing letters to Santa.

Translation: Dear Santa, I’ve been bad today. Just give me cole on Christmas. I’m sorry. I’m just a little scared; I know I’m bad today. I’m starting to hate Christmas. Love, Nicholas

 

15.

Translation: Santa, I just want you to know I love big butts, and I cannot deny! That is what I wanted you to know.

 

16. Don’t forget to consider Santa’s wellbeing, also.

Translation: Dear Santa, I think you are a fat man, and I’m not leaving you any cookies because Mrs. Claus said you’re on a diet. You need to stay away from the junk food and don’t eat too much on your trip around the world. That’s why I’m leaving you vegetables this year with Ultra Skim Milk. I hope you lose some weight because with all those toys and you, I start to feel sorry for Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Doner, Blitzen, and Rudolph. I sure hope you brought everything I asked for. Well, since I didn’t see you this year in person, I hope to see you next year. Love you. Bye, Jennifer Age 10

 

17.

Translation: I hope you get a lot of presents and a happy Merry Christmas. And you are fat.

 

18.

Translation: Dear Santa, give the cookies to your stomach and the carrots to the reindeer. I wish I was eating the cookies. From, Isaiah

 

19.

Translation: Santa, I have never seen a reindeer eye-to-eye. Please leave Rudolph on my door step. Sincerely, Lilli

 

20.

Translation: Dear Santa, How are your reindeer? If you cannot buy what I want, take it easy on yourself. Just give me tens and ones of money.

 

21. Well, that escalated quickly…

Translation: Dear Santa, I don’t care what you give me this year, but I will be happy. What are your favorite cookies? Do you have a beard all year? How much do you weigh? How many elves do you have? When you poop, if your poop the color of holiday candies? How many pairs of underwear do you have? Love, Olivia

 

22. Riley knows what’s up:

Translation: Dear Santa, What I want for Christmas is a stuffed chicken. Riley

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