The Bull

September Horoscopes


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Aries- During this month of confusion Mercury eclipses Venus so love may be in the air for you, but be careful because it may not appear in the form you would expect. Due to this cosmic event you may also want to stop spending so much money at the snack shop.

Taurus- Venus is in retrograde parallel to Uranus’s third moon. This means that it could be a time of unease for you, and watch your back cause Inaba may be more prone to aggression towards your sign.

Gemini- The first week of school was difficult for you, but now you’ve adjusted. Thanks to Saturns position in the sky Ms. Sturges is likely to go easy on you this month, but tread lightly because Doc may not be so kind.

Cancer- Finally Uranus has drifted into harmony with its sister planet, so you will see your hard work pay off this month. Luckily for you Ms. Barron is also likely to forget to check your workbook.

Leo- Sadly, this isn’t your month. Bad fortune is coming your way, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. This because Pluto has drifted out of alignment, and it may cause Dr. Hamilton to violently attack students without warning.

Virgo- With so much going on in your life right now you should stop and take a breather, you deserve it. Especially since Saturn has started retrograding, because things are about to get a lot more difficult. Steer clear of the Math department this month.

Libra- You’ve always known you were meant for more, and this month is going to be another disappointment because you will continue your daily routine. Due to the alignment of Earths moon with the sun you ought to watch your step around Ms. Weigle.

Scorpio- Mars is rising into retrograde right now so good fortune is in your future. This cosmic event has also caused Winderbaum to yell your name twice as loud every time he sees you.

Sagittarius- With your third chakra in line with the retrograde of of Venus’s minutiae you ought to see some pretty interesting stuff this month. Ms. Herendeen is also likely to mark you absent when you’re actually tardy.

Capricorn- Your first house of love is out of balance with the rest, so love won’t be so easy to find this month, however a new friendship is on the horizon. With Saturns rings running parallel to the orbit of Mercury your likelihood of upsetting Naj is quite high.

Aquarius- It was a summer of love, and luckily for you it shall be a year of love! This love may come in many forms, and it may not stay but be resilient and you will eventually be happy. Be careful though because the likelihood of getting called out on PDA is quite high.

Pisces- The fish have come together under the stars, and your house of spirit is organized. Make sure to stay calm because things may get crazy this month. Especially in math class be sure to watch out for those impromptu quizzes.

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